Unholy Eastern Europe Russland: A Blackened Journey Through Chaos and Frost
Alright, buckle up metalheads, because we’re diving headfirst into Unholy Eastern Europe Russland, a black metal beast unleashed by Various (yes, that’s apparently their name) back in 2014. Released on the delightfully grim-sounding label Human To Dust, this album is like an icy slap to the face from some frostbitten German dungeon—or maybe just your grandma’s freezer if she was secretly Scandinavian.
Now, before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s talk vibes. This isn’t your polished, radio-friendly rock; nope, it’s raw, gritty, and dripping with all the lo-fi charm you’d expect from black metal. Think shrieked vocals, blastbeat drums, and enough tremolo picking to make your ears bleed—but hey, isn’t that what we signed up for?
Track Highlights: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Let’s zoom in on two tracks that really stuck out like sore thumbs—or should I say sore eardrums? First up, "Die In The Battle." Right off the bat, this track hits you harder than a Viking raiding party at a medieval village fair. It opens with these haunting riffs that feel like they were forged in the depths of Mordor—or at least someone’s very dark basement studio. Lyrically, it’s as bleak as watching paint dry in Siberia, but somehow it works. You can practically smell the blood-soaked snowfields while listening. And those blastbeats? Chef’s kiss. If you don’t find yourself involuntarily headbanging within the first 30 seconds, check your pulse—you might already be dead.
Then there’s "The Last Viking," which sounds exactly how it reads: equal parts epic and tragic. Imagine standing atop a cliff overlooking a stormy sea, clutching a sword, and yelling something unintelligible about glory or revenge. That’s this song. Musically, it’s got layers—like an onion, except instead of tears, you’ll probably end up with chills. There’s this one section where the tempo slows down just enough to let the weight of everything sink in, and suddenly you realize why Vikings were such badasses. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t just the helmets with horns.
Random Thoughts & Oddball Observations
Kudos to Sergiy Fjordsson for the photography creds here—he must have wandered through half of Eastern Europe snapping pics of abandoned castles and foggy forests to capture the vibe perfectly. Also, shoutout to whoever decided “Warmonger” needed to exist right next to “Kill Yourself” on the tracklist. Subtle messaging much? Feels like a real mood swing waiting to happen.
And honestly, the whole thing feels kind of unhinged in the best possible way. Like, imagine trying to explain this album to your mom. She’d probably think you joined a cult or started collecting taxidermied wolves or something. But hey, that’s black metal for ya.
Final Thoughts: Not Your Grandma’s Playlist
So, would I recommend Unholy Eastern Europe Russland? Absolutely—if you’re into music that sounds like chaos having a meltdown in a frozen wasteland. Is it perfect? Nah. Sometimes it leans a little too far into “noise for noise’s sake” territory. But when it clicks, oh man, does it ever click.
Here’s the kicker though: after blasting this album three times in a row, I found myself craving pierogis and kvass. Coincidence? Probably not. Looks like black metal has magical powers after all. Who knew?
