Get Conjured by Spewtilator: A Brutal Assault on Your Eardrums
If you’re into music that punches you in the face and doesn’t apologize, Get Conjured by Spewtilator is your jam. Released back in 2010 under Grim Winds Records, this US-born beast of an album slams together thrash, death metal, and grindcore like a sledgehammer to the skull. It’s raw, relentless, and just unhinged enough to keep you hooked. Let’s dive into the chaos.
First up, “Spacebag.” Holy crap, this track hits like a freight train derailed by Satan himself. The riffs are jagged as hell, and the drumming feels like it’s trying to break through your ribcage. What sticks with me? That goddamn groove—it’s nasty, infectious, and makes you wanna headbang until your neck snaps. You can practically smell the cheap beer and sweat while listening to it. It's not perfect, but who gives a damn when it’s this heavy?
Then there’s “Zombear.” Yeah, I said ZOMB-BEAR. This one’s a grinder for sure, packed with blast beats and guttural growls that sound like someone gargling broken glass. The thing about this track is how it flips between total chaos and these weird little melodic breaks that catch you off guard. Like, wait…is that a solo? Nah, it’s just another excuse to smash your air guitar against the wall. It’s stupidly fun and ridiculous, which is exactly why I love it.
The rest of the album ain’t no slouch either. Tracks like “Grave Digger” and “Super Ghouls N Ghosts” bring their own brand of mayhem, mixing old-school thrash vibes with some seriously gnarly death metal shredding. But honestly, if you don’t walk away from Get Conjured feeling like you’ve been run over by a tank made of distortion pedals, you’re doing it wrong.
Here’s the kicker though—this album shouldn’t work. Thrash, death metal, AND grindcore all mashed together? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But somehow, Spewtilator pulls it off. Maybe it’s because they never try too hard to be anything other than brutally honest. Or maybe it’s because they know we’re all here for the same reason: to get our faces melted off.
So yeah, check out Get Conjured. Just don’t blame me if your neighbors call the cops after track two. Oh, and one last thing—why isn’t there more music about zombie bears? Seriously, missed opportunity.
