Album Review: Tell Me Why To Be Or Not To Be by Virgin Jock Hattle Band
Alright, let’s dive into this quirky little gem from the early ‘90s. The Virgin Jock Hattle Band (love the name, by the way) dropped Tell Me Why To Be Or Not To Be in 1991, and it’s a slice of pure Italo-Disco heaven. This Italian crew hooked us up with two tracks that scream neon lights, roller skates, and bad decisions on the dance floor. Released under Time Oldies, this album might not be perfect, but dang if it doesn’t slap when you’re in the mood for some retro vibes.
First off, let’s talk about “Tell Me Why (Vocal).” Oh man, this track feels like someone bottled up all the drama of a late-night argument and poured it straight onto the dance floor. The vocals are super raw—like, almost awkwardly heartfelt—but that’s what makes it stick. You can practically picture yourself at some smoky club in Milan, swaying under strobe lights while trying to forget your ex. There’s something oddly relatable about how unpolished it feels. Like, yeah, life ain’t always smooth, and neither is this song. But maybe that’s why I keep coming back to it.
Then there’s “To Be Or Not To Be (Mix Version),” which sounds like Shakespeare got drunk and decided to DJ. It’s got this bouncy bassline that just won’t quit, paired with synths so bright they could blind ya. This one’s more playful than its counterpart, kinda teasing you to get up and move even if you’ve been sitting on the couch eating chips all day. Honestly, every time I hear those opening notes, I’m half-convinced my cat will start breakdancing. That’s how infectious it is.
You know, listening to this album now feels like stepping into a time machine with a busted steering wheel. Sure, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea—some parts feel dated, others cheesy—but isn’t that part of the charm? These songs remind me that music doesn’t have to be polished or pretentious to make an impact. Sometimes, it just needs to be real.
And hey, here’s a random thought: If aliens ever landed on Earth and asked for proof of human creativity, handing them this album might actually work. They’d either beam us aboard their spaceship as honorary DJs or politely ask us to turn it off. Either way, we’d go out with style.
