Doors Squeaks And Creaks: The Album That’ll Make You Question Your Sanity (In a Good Way)
Let’s get one thing straight—this isn’t your typical "put it on repeat while you're folding laundry" kind of album. Nope. Doors Squeaks And Creaks is more like an auditory haunted house, minus the corny ghost costumes. Released in 1968 by EMI in the UK, this quirky collection falls under the genre of “Non-Music” with a style labeled as “Movie Effects.” Translation? It’s basically ASMR for horror fans before ASMR was even a thing.
The tracklist reads like someone went door-to-door across England recording every hinge and latch they could find. Seriously: Cottage Door, Toilet Door, Prison Door…you name it, they squeaked it. But hey, don’t knock it till you’ve heard it. This record has charm, albeit a weirdly unsettling one.
Take Creaking Door, for instance. If doors had personalities, this would be the grumpy old man yelling at kids to stay off his lawn. Every groan feels deliberate, almost theatrical, like it knows exactly how creepy it sounds. Perfect for Halloween playlists or pranking your roommates into thinking there’s a poltergeist lurking around. Just don’t blame me if someone calls an exorcist.
Then there’s Stairs Creaking. Oh boy, does this one hit differently. There’s something about those uneven wooden steps moaning under invisible weight that feels oddly cinematic. It’s not just noise—it tells a story. Maybe it’s the sound of a shadowy figure sneaking upstairs late at night. Or maybe it’s just your upstairs neighbor finally deciding to move furniture after years of threatening to do so. Either way, it sticks with you.
What makes this album stand out (besides its sheer oddity) is how intentional everything feels. These aren’t random recordings slapped together; each track builds tension without needing any music whatsoever. It’s proof that sometimes less really is more—or at least, less melody equals more goosebumps.
So who’s the mysterious “No Artist” behind this masterpiece? Your guess is as good as mine. Whoever it was clearly had a sense of humor—and possibly a fascination with rusty hinges. Released during the swinging sixties, when most people were busy grooving to The Beatles, this little gem must’ve seemed downright alien. Yet here we are decades later, still talking about it.
Final thought? Listening to Doors Squeaks And Creaks feels like stepping into a David Lynch movie where nothing happens but everything feels important. Sure, it’s niche, but isn’t that what makes it special? Now excuse me while I go oil my own creaky door because suddenly it’s starting to freak me out.
