Album Review: Verkoopt U by Various – A Quirky Slice of Dutch Promo Gold
Alright, let’s talk about Verkoopt U, an album that’s kinda like stumbling into your grandparents’ attic and finding something weird but oddly charming. Released way back in 1963 in the Netherlands, this record is pure promotional gold—literally made to sell stuff (or maybe just life itself). It’s not really “music” music; it’s more like someone decided to slap together a bunch of jingles, skits, and sales pitches into one wild ride. The label? Fleurop. Yup, those flower delivery folks. So yeah, there’s definitely some floral vibes sprinkled in here.
First off, shoutout to the team behind this madness. You’ve got René Boelen doing design work, Sies Hofman producing, and Gerard Cox lending his voice acting chops alongside Mary Michon and Ronnie Bierman. Oh, and can we take a moment for Aad Groenenboom, Hans van Leeuwen, Peter Snoey, and René Groenendaal? These musicians were probably just vibing hard while trying to figure out how to make ads sound artsy. Hats off.
Now, onto the tracks. I mean, you can’t dive into every single one without losing your mind, so let’s focus on two standouts: “Help Klant Over Uw Drempel!” and “U Hoeft Geen Helderziende Te Zijn.”
“Help Klant Over Uw Drempel!” hits different. It’s basically a pep talk for shopkeepers disguised as a song. Imagine someone yelling at you cheerfully, “Hey buddy, get those customers through the door or else!” But instead of being annoying, it’s catchy as heck. There’s this bouncy rhythm with voices layered all over each other, almost like a chaotic choir of salespeople hyping themselves up. You’ll find yourself humming it later, even though you’re not entirely sure why. Is it good? Debatable. Memorable? Absolutely.
Then there’s “U Hoeft Geen Helderziende Te Zijn,” which loosely translates to “You Don’t Need To Be Psychic.” This one feels like a mix between a self-help seminar and a late-night infomercial. The lyrics are straight-up bonkers, talking about predicting the future or… something? Honestly, half the charm is just listening to how random it all is. Peter Blanker’s voice comes through super clear here, giving off major “local TV personality” energy. By the end, you’re left wondering if they accidentally recorded this during a brainstorming session for ad slogans.
What makes Verkoopt U stick in my brain isn’t just the tunes—it’s the vibe. It’s like peeking into another era where people thought slapping a jingle onto anything would instantly make it cool. And honestly? They weren’t wrong. Sure, it’s cheesy and a little rough around the edges, but that’s what makes it fun. It’s less of an album and more of a time capsule filled with quirky Dutch optimism.
Final thought: If aliens ever land and ask us to explain human creativity, I’m handing them a copy of Verkoopt U. Because nothing screams “weirdly ambitious” like turning flower deliveries into a musical masterpiece. Or, well, whatever this is.
