World Famous Kintama Boxers: A Wild Ride Through Rock’s Underbelly
Alright, let’s get one thing straight—this album isn’t for everyone. If you’re looking for something polished or mainstream, turn back now. World Famous Kintama Boxers by Various is raw, unfiltered rock that punches you in the gut and leaves you gasping for more. Released in 2003 under Chicken Katsu Records, this chaotic masterpiece feels like a garage band threw a party with their weirdest friends—and somehow, it works.
The first track that grabs you by the throat? “Girls Do Not Make Passes At Boys Who Wear Glasses.” Yeah, I know, what a mouthful of a title. But damn if it doesn’t stick. It’s got this gritty guitar riff that sounds like someone took a chainsaw to an amp, paired with lyrics so absurd they loop in your brain for days. You can practically hear the sweat dripping off the mic as the vocals scream about… well, glasses-wearing dudes not getting any action (or maybe they are? Who knows). Either way, it's messy, hilarious, and oddly relatable. This song reminds me why rock music used to feel dangerous before everything got sanitized into Spotify playlists.
Then there’s “Stayin’ Alive,” which has zero connection to the Bee Gees classic but somehow still slaps harder than most covers ever could. The drums hit like shotgun blasts, and the bassline grooves so hard you’ll wanna punch holes in drywall just to match its energy. What makes this track unforgettable is how unpredictable it feels. Just when you think it’s settling into a rhythm, it flips on its head, throwing in weird time signatures and screeching solos like it’s daring you to keep up. Spoiler alert: you won’t.
Props go out to Doug Wild for mastering this beast because holy crap, every track sounds like it was recorded live in some dive bar where fights break out nightly. And Tim Uhl’s artwork? Perfectly matches the vibe—chaotic, loud, and slightly unhinged. Alison nailed the layout too; flipping through the liner notes feels like reading graffiti scribbled on a bathroom wall.
Now here’s the kicker—the album ends with “What Is Evolution?” and honestly, after listening to all these wild tracks, I’m starting to question reality myself. Was this whole project just an excuse for a bunch of musicians to blow off steam? Or is it secretly genius hiding behind layers of intentional chaos? Maybe both.
Final thought: If you hate fun, structure, or sanity, skip this record. But if you love music that bites back, crank up World Famous Kintama Boxers. Just don’t blame me if your neighbors call the cops.
