Altavista Shopping Experienz by Zima Clearmalt: A Vaporwave Joyride Through Consumerism
Alright, let’s talk about Altavista Shopping Experienz. This 2017 release from South Korean artist Zima Clearmalt is a wild ride through glitchy synths, nostalgia-soaked beats, and an ironic ode to late-night online shopping sprees. Released under Power_lunch Recording Corporation (cool name, btw), this album feels like you’ve been sucked into the internet circa 2003—a little chaotic, kinda gross, but weirdly addictive.
The genre? Electronic. The style? Vaporwave. But don’t expect some lazy Windows 95 screensaver vibe here. Nope. Zima Clearmalt takes that aesthetic and twists it into something sharper, funnier, and more unsettling. It's less "mall muzak" and more "what if your browser history had a soundtrack?"
Now, let’s zoom in on two tracks that stuck with me because, honestly, not everything on this album hits the same way. First up: “Add2basket.” Oh man, this one slaps harder than it has any right to. Imagine cruising through a pixelated supermarket at 3 AM while someone chops up old infomercial jingles in the background. That’s “Add2basket” for ya. The beat is hypnotic, almost trance-like, but there’s this sneaky layer of distortion creeping in—like when you’re about to checkout online and suddenly second-guess every life choice that led you to buy another novelty mug. You can practically hear the cash register going cha-ching in your soul. I dunno how Zima pulled it off, but this track made me both crave capitalism AND hate myself for it. Bravo?
Then there’s “Hot Dog On A Gif,” which might just be my favorite title ever. What even IS this song? Is it food? Art? A fever dream? All I know is that it sounds like someone took a hot dog GIF, stretched it out over five minutes, and added some funky basslines. There are these little bloop-bloop noises sprinkled throughout, like digital ketchup packets popping open. And yeah, maybe it gets repetitive after a while, but isn’t that the point? Like, aren’t we all stuck in loops of consumption anyway? Either way, it’s catchy as hell, and now I want a hot dog.
Other standouts include “E-Coma,” which feels like falling asleep during a livestream, and “Daddy’s Card,” where the tension builds so much you half-expect your credit limit to max out mid-listen. Meanwhile, “Chipotle.Coli” sounds exactly like eating too many burritos—satisfying yet slightly nauseating. Classic vaporwave energy right there.
But what makes Altavista Shopping Experienz stick isn’t just its technical brilliance or ironic commentary—it’s the mood. Listening to this album feels like being trapped inside a broken vending machine. Sure, it’s kind of annoying, but also strangely beautiful in its own messed-up way. By the time you hit play on “Escalation,” you realize Zima Clearmalt isn’t just making music; they’re holding up a cracked mirror to our consumerist culture.
So yeah, if you’re into vaporwave or just wanna vibe to something that feels like cyberpunk mallcore, give this album a spin. Just don’t blame me if you end up impulse-buying stuff afterward. Or questioning your entire existence. Or craving a hot dog.
Final thought: If Altavista Shopping Experienz were a person, it’d probs be that one friend who texts you memes at 4 AM and somehow convinces you to order pizza. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they leave a mark.
