Album Review: River by Haneke Twins – A Raw, Post-Punk Gem from Switzerland
Let’s get one thing straight: River by Haneke Twins isn’t your typical rock album. Released in 2020 under their own label (because who needs gatekeepers anyway?), this Swiss duo dives headfirst into the murky waters of post-punk and alternative rock with a sound that feels both retro and refreshingly untamed. It’s like they took the grit of Joy Division, sprinkled it with some Sonic Youth dissonance, and added just enough of their own weirdness to make it stick.
The album kicks off with “Location Unassigned,” and holy smokes, does it grab you by the collar. The track starts with this eerie, almost industrial hum—like someone left a microphone on in an abandoned factory—and builds into a jagged guitar riff that punches you right in the gut. There’s no pretense here; it’s raw, unfiltered, and kinda makes you wanna light something on fire. What sticks with me most is how the vocals float somewhere between a snarl and a whisper, like the singer can’t decide if they’re pissed off or just tired of everything. Either way, it works. By the time the song crashes to its chaotic end, you’re left wondering what the hell just happened—but in the best way.
Then there’s the title track, “River.” If “Location Unassigned” is the storm, “River” is the calm before it—or maybe after it? The opening notes are hauntingly simple, a slow-burning bassline that pulls you in like quicksand. The lyrics feel cryptic yet oddly personal, as if they’re telling a story only half-meant for us to understand. Around the halfway mark, the song explodes into this glorious mess of distorted guitars and pounding drums. You can practically feel the sweat dripping off the band as they play. It’s messy, it’s loud, and honestly? It’s kind of perfect.
What I love about River is how unapologetically itself it is. These guys aren’t trying to reinvent the wheel—they’re just rolling it down a hill and seeing where it lands. And yeah, sure, the production has that lo-fi edge you’d expect from a self-released project, but somehow it adds to the charm. It’s not polished, it’s not shiny—it’s real.
So yeah, give River a spin if you’re into music that feels more like a punch in the face than a warm hug. Or don’t. Honestly, I think Haneke Twins would be cool with either choice. They seem like the type to shrug and say, “Whatever, man.”
Final thought: Listening to this album made me realize how much I miss live shows. Like, imagine hearing these tracks live—crushed beer cans underfoot, bad lighting, questionable smells wafting through the air. Sounds kinda beautiful, doesn’t it?
